One of the things I noticed while I was home, catching up with old friends, exchanging news and sharing our hopes and dreams, was how I felt when the conversation inevitably turned to this little website of mine. The sad truth is that I felt rather embarrassed about it.
When friends tell me that they've read my blog I have absolutely no idea what to say to them - I tend to just squirm uncomfortably in my seat. What I want to say is that I'm immensely gratified that they've taken an interest and that they are being so kind and supportive; but I simply can't get past the terrifying realisation that they've effectively read my diary. I feel so exposed.
So why am I doing this? What keeps me writing despite these feelings? Why on earth would an introvert choose to write a blog?!
Well, surprisingly for me, I find writing rather liberating. I love having the chance to share my thoughts - something I'm usually quite shy about doing in person. I also find that taking the time to sit down and figure out exactly what I do think about something is strangely relaxing. Blogging gives me a chance to be alone with my thoughts, to reflect on the things around me and make sense of them and I find it energising and reassuring - it's almost like a form of meditation.
I like the connections that this blog can bring - connections with people who have the same interests as me, people who I never would have met in real life. I love being able to skip over all the small talk and get straight to the things that matter. I even like that moment of sheer terror that I always experience right after I hit 'publish' and I especially like reading comments and hearing other peoples opinions on the things I've been thinking about.
The more I think about it the more I think that blogging is perfect for Introverts; It's a way of connecting with people while simultaneously spending time alone; It's a perfect chance to reflect and it gives us an opportunity to think before we speak (or write in this case).
Of course, reflecting too much can definitely be a bad thing - there are certainly times when I look around and see all those talented people out there - wonderful designers, talented sewers and compelling writers- and wonder what on earth I am doing and why I believed, even for a minute that anyone would care what I have to say. But then I remember what a wonderful, kind and supportive sewing community we have in this online world and I stop worrying, because really it doesn't matter; I'm doing what I love and I'm doing it for me and if other people get some pleasure from it too then that's just an added bonus.
Incidentally, I had a lot of fun one evening while I was away, taking personality tests with my family (for ourselves and for each other - with hilarious results!) on the 16 Personalities website. If you haven't done it yet then take a look, we thought it was pretty accurate and I think I even learned a few things about myself. I came out as INFJ incidentally - just like one of my heroes; JK Rowling - I always knew we would be friends! ;)
What about you? Would you consider yourself to be an Introvert or an Extrovert? How do you think it helps / hinders you in what you do?