Growing Up!

I discovered today that the children’s playschool teachers are going to move Jacob up to the kinder room in a couple of weeks – I’m a little emotional about this news. On the one hand, I’m really happy for him – it’ll be an adventure and he’ll get to be with the big kids and in the same class as Ella for the year, and I’ve no doubt that he’ll learn heaps and absolutely love it, but there’s a little part of me that is crying ‘but he’s my baby! He’s still 2! He can’t be in Kindergarten!’ 

It seems to me that one of the most unexpected things about mothering is the way in which watching your children grow is like a series of tiny bereavements.  While we delight in their achievements, in their growth and development, there is always a part of us that aches for the baby, the toddler, the small child they once were; the tiny person who is lost forever, who we will always miss enormously while we sit here loving and marveling at the amazing new child who has emerged.  I suppose it’s just another reminder of how we need to treasure every moment, how we ought to aim to let all the frustrations just wash over us and cling tight to these wonderful moments which will one day be just memories.

I’m feeling rather tearful writing this and am suddenly consumed with an ache for my little ones.  I’m going to go and pick them up from playschool now  - don’t worry, I’m pretty sure that this sadness will have passed within about 10 minutes of our arriving home, when I will be yelling, tearing my hair out and wondering exactly how many more years of this I’ll have to endure before they can leave home!

Kids Clothes Week

Well, Kids Clothes Week is over for another couple of months and I have to say that I had fun, although the theme this time (upcycled) rather threw me.  It's a theme that is close to my heart and something that I'm usually very enthusiastic about.  I even have an entire box full of old clothes that no longer fit, no longer get worn, are past mending, or which I bought from charity shops because i just loved the fabric! A box that I keep purely for upcycled sewing projects!  The only problem is that this box currently happens to be in storage - it got packed away a few weeks ago so that we could knock down a third of our house and rebuild it. I can't tell you how many times I've kicked myself for not being more organised and checking the Kids Clothes Week theme more in advance so that I could have kept that box handy!

Ah well.  I may not have been able to full embrace the 'Upcycled' theme, but I did have a lot of fun sewing this week.  I took this opportunity to create a pattern for a dress for Ella that I've had in my head for a long time now.  I'm really happy with how it turned out.  

The dress has a very comfy knit top, a circle skirt that is perfect for twirling and huge drapey pockets for storing treasures.  Ella is VERY pleased with them. (She's particularly pleased that she got 3 new dresses in a week while I was tweaking the pattern!)

I'm working very hard to get this pattern digitised and graded and into a downloadable pdf file.  Bear with me while I try to juggle this with my day job and two often times very demanding children!  If you would like to be notified when the pattern is available then be sure to sign up for my newsletter.

I'm thinking that i will make this dress available in sizes 1-5 to begin with - what do you think?

Fairytale Masks in the Etsy Shop!

There are some new masks in my Etsy shop today!  We've been having a lot of fun playing knights and princesses around here.  I think the unicorn has been the favourite though. My creative directors (Ella and Jacob) have informed me that we now need a King's crown and a dragon mask for the knight to fight so I suppose I'd better get back to work...

Are there any masks you would like to see in the shop?  What are your favourite dress ups?

For my little sister as she prepares to meet her baby...

Dearest Ruthie,

As I write this, I know that you are at the hospital working very hard to bring your little baby into the world.  I'm writing because I am finding it very difficult to be so far away and so unable to do anything to help you. (Although I have to admit that even if I was right by your side there would be very little I could do to help you right now!)  Still, I wish so much that I could be there over the next few weeks to help you with the mountains of laundry that you're about to experience and to cook you nourishing dinners and delicious cakes to sustain you while you nurse your new baby.  

But I can't be there right now so I will have to offer what help I can in the form of advice and support.  I have been thinking a lot about how I felt after Ella and Jacob were born, trying to remember what I struggled with, what helped me most, but to be honest much of it is a blur of emotions.  Here's what I can tell you:

There will be times when you will look at your baby and feel like you will burst with love.

There will be times when you will want to put your baby out of the window.

You will feel elation and despair and everything in between, possibly all in the space of 10 minutes. 

You will cry for no reason.

Parenting can be difficult and stressful but also beautiful and amazing, often all at the same time.

You will be a wonderful mother.

I will always be there for you, to listen to your worries. I will be awake when everyone else around you is asleep. I am only a phone call away.

I am so unbelievably excited about your new arrival! Partly for you, because I know what an amazing roller coaster ride you're in for and partly for myself because I can't wait to have motherhood in common with you. I feel like it will be such a wonderful bond and I know that seeing our children playing together is going to be so special.  

I love you enormously and have complete faith in you. You will do a fantastic job of raising this brand new person and you will help them to be the very best version of themselves possible. 

You can do it!

xx

Superheroes have landed!

There's something new in my Etsy shop today; Superheroes!

Iron Man, The Hulk and Captain America have all made their debut today. You can even buy all 3 together in a set and save a few dollars.

Do you know a little superhero in the making?

Link to the shop HERE

It's just a phase..

My sweet little girl is struggling at the moment. Struggling to come to terms with the idea that she can't always have her own way.  Its seems that at the moment we can't go a day, or often even an hour without her stamping her feet and shouting at us "But I want to do what I want to do!"  There have been a lot of tears recently - and not just from her.  "It's just a phase, it's just a phase.." has become our mantra, as we try to stay calm.  But we don't always succeed.  

My initial emotion is anger, I am embarrassed and dismayed by her behaviour, particularly when she acts like this in public. I wonder who this little brat is and where my sweet daughter has gone?  I feel rather disloyal telling you this - I'm worried that you'll believe that my girl is a brat (she's not, she's usually very caring and considerate) - I'm also worried that you'll think I'm a bad parent. (Incidentally, when did parenting become a competitive sport? Surely we have enough to deal with without constantly comparing ourselves to others and trying to 'win'? Anyway; that's a topic for another day…)  I'm tempted to stop writing here, to delete this post and pretend that my children are angels, but I won't. I want to share this in case you've ever felt this way about your kids. I want you to know that you're not alone. 

So, my 4 year old is having tantrums and lashing out because she can't have her own way and i am feeling angry and upset, not least because, in that moment, I don't honestly like my child very much. It's a horrible feeling; I feel like I have failed as a parent.

So yesterday, in the middle of yet another meltdown I made a decision. I decided that getting angry wasn't going to help and that the only useful thing I could do was to find some compassion for her struggles.  I had to try to remember what it feels like to be living in a world where you don't yet understand the rules, trying to test the boundaries to find out how things work and what we can and can't do. She is simply trying to make sense of the world and she is struggling to accept that she won't always get her own way.  It's a harsh lesson after all, and one that many of us perhaps never fully learn to accept.  

All I can do is acknowledge how she is feeling and tell her that I understand that she is struggling, and to give her some sympathy. As difficult as this phase is for me, it's 10 times harder for her.  I think it has helped. I'm pretty sure that she now knows I'm on her side and am trying to help, not just trying to thwart her. I certainly feel more positive now and I know things will get better, soon.  After all, it's just a phase...

My new Etsy Store is open! Roaaarrrr!

I'm still working on setting up the pattern shop for this website, but in the meantime, I'm very excited to say that I've got an Etsy store up and running!

https://www.etsy.com/au/shop/Stitchandwillow

These super cute little animal masks are up for sale and I hope to soon have the patterns for them up too so that you can make them yourself if you would like to. I'm also planning to have instructions on how they can be made without a sewing machine so that you really will have no excuse!

I'm starting small (literally) while I get the hang of this new software for pattern making, not to mention all the other things that I need to learn about, but I've got some very big ideas so I hope you'll hang in there and keep coming back to see what I'm up to.

I can't tell you how happy I am, to feel like I'm finally on my way to doing what I love, on my way to living my dream and doing the thing that I've been wanting to do since Ella was born 4 years ago.  There have been a lot of late nights recently, and a lot of anxiety and insecurity of course, but more than anything else just an overwhelming feeling of excitement and satisfaction.  I have spent way too long wishing for a change but not making the effort required to enact that change. Of course there is always the fear of failure, but really, when it comes to things like this the only failure is to not try.  Perhaps I won't succeed, perhaps I'll decide that this isn't what I want to do after all, but at least I'll know that I gave it my best shot. There will be no regrets and I will be free to follow another dream.

The strangest thing is that I've discovered that I actually LIKE the fear which has been holding me back all this time, I really do like it - it's exhilarating - it's like jumping off a cliff - because it really is true that you can't experience one extreme without the other; yes there is fear but there is also elation, and it's wonderful!

Thank you for stopping by.  Go and do something that you're afraid of!

Leaving..

I’m off on a little adventure all on my lonesome. Off to New Zealand for the first time in my life to visit one of my dearest friends who moved there a few years ago.  My original crafternoon buddy to whom I am very grateful for her nurturing of my crafty / sewing instincts and who taught me lots of things – about sewing and more.

This was my birthday present from Nick this year – 5 days away from my mummy duties! I have to admit I’m ready for it; after a very busy week of work and a couple of days with at least 1 very grumpy child, I have been really looking forward to my escape.  Until it came to time to say goodbye to the little ones anyway.  Why is it that they drive me crazy all week and then this morning, despite us waking them before 6 so that we could get me to the airport on time, they were perfect angels in the car – chattering away to us, laughing with each other and cracking us up with the hilarious things they say!  Is it just my mindset? Is it just that I know that I’m going to miss them so I appreciate them all the more? Maybe it’s just pure chance, but it does always seem to happen that way.  When I have endless time with them I find myself wishing they would just leave me alone occasionally and then when I’m sitting here at the start of 5 child free days, I regret those thoughts. I miss them already, I feel a little incomplete without them. My excitement is muted because I can’t see it reflected in their faces, they are my little mirrors.  I wish I didn’t have to be away from them to be able to full appreciate how beautiful life with them is. That’s not to say that I don’t appreciate how lucky I am to have them, it’s just that that appreciation is so often tempered by little irks and annoyances.  Imagine how wonderful life would be if we could let those every day annoyances simply wash over us and only hold onto the joyful feelings.

Ok, I think that’s enough reflection for now – I’m starting to feel quite miserable about being away from my little ones and it’s only been 2 hours! I think it’s time that I close the computer, open my book and start to relax into my holiday. Otherwise I may find myself walking out of the airport and hopping into a Taxi to head home!

A Geranium Dress for Ella

I made my first Geranium Dress for Ella this week and I just love it! More importantly so does she. The garden probably wasn't the best place to take the photos - she's rather well camouflaged!  It was just too far nice a day to be inside.  

Such a great pattern from Rae Hoekstra, I have a feeling I'll be making lots more. Next stop a Washi Dress for me I think...

www.made-by-rae.com